Have you ever wondered what is with your friends sudden change when she gets a new man? We all do we feel like she’s “acting brand new.” What if its more to her sudden change, are you able to help or will you ASSUME she is “acting brand new?”
Below we will talk about a few signs she might be in an abusive relationship. She might be hiding what goes on behind closed doors.
1. Sudden change is appearance and clothing style.
2. Dressing out of season to hide the scares.
3. Lack of communication with those she loves.
4. Rushing to move in with each other.
5. Fewer conversations via the phone or when he is around.
6. No desire to do things she enjoys.
7. Secret messages in post on social media.
8. Bruises she can’t explain or the explanation doesn’t match the bruise.
9. She starts calling off from work or missing a lot of school.
10. Making excuses for his aggressive behavior.
11. Missing family functions.
It’s not safe to always assume our friends are in good hands when they show these signs. There are ways to ask and not make her feel embarrassed about it.
Domestic violence is very shameful for the victim. Chances are she will not walk around with a sign advertising it. She will wear a mask to hide her shame and guilt. Often times the victim feels like its something she does to being on his behavior.
If you find out your friend is being abused, encourage her to report the abuse. If she make the choice NOT to calling her stupid is another form of abuse. Most times the abuser has already made threats to her about reporting the abuse.
I’m not in any way telling you to put yourself in harms way. We see what happens when a man is ready to act. If she comes to your house make her agree to have NO contact with him while she is there. If she violates this your house is NO longer a safe haven.
When I was on my roller coaster with my abuser. I had a safe haven, she would pick me up from the pay phone. When she picked me up there was NO contact with my abuser. If she wasn’t home I would leave a detailed message on her answering machine.
Trust me your friend will appreciate you for that. I often tell my friend thanks! I remind her how much he actions mean to me.
Tonight as you read this a friend or two might come to mind. Don’t call yelling in the phone asking are they being abused. She will NEVER open up to you, if you address the issue that way. You can start by posting things social media, (signs and statistics) if you have been abused share your story or if you see bruises address them.
Being gentle is key as her abuser is already mean to her. He may feel like be can talk to her any kind of way. Most importantly NEVER tell her she is STUPID. That’s a sure way to push her closer to the abuser.
I hope this post has shined some light on abuse behind the doors for you. Most of all remember it is NEVER the will of God we are abused.
I want to leave a verse with you:
God-of-the-Angel-Armies, the One of Glory who sent me on my mission, commenting on the godless nations who stripped you and left you homeless, said, “Anyone who hits you, hits me—bloodies my nose, blackens my eye. Yes, and at the right time I’ll give the signal and they’ll be stripped and thrown out by their own servants.” Then you’ll know for sure that God-of-the-Angel-Armies sent me on this mission. (Zechariah 2:8, 9 MSG)
Love, peace and hugs,