Why do I believe in NoMoreBlows?
I’m a 32 year old Domestic Violence survivor. I am now walking in what God has created me to do.
The thought of starting from the ground up may not be a good idea for some people. God has deposited this in me; it is not anything I’ve done.
I’m not your normal advocate, I’ve lived the life of Domestic Violence. I know what it is like to be robbed of your hymen. I don’t follow a textbook of rules to diagnose people. I want to tell you the reality of the “game”. Time is up for service providers who make women feel less than because they have never walked in these shoes. Some advocates only have textbook knowledge.
I know what it’s like for someone to control your moves. I was 18 the first time a threat was placed on my life. The young man I dating answered my mother’s phone. He says it was a guy on the other end. 16 years later I still can’t tell you who it was that called.
He got in his car and went fleeing to his mother’s house to get his gun. He told his mother he was coming to hurt me because I was cheating on him. She wrestled him down and called 9-1-1. They detained him. He spent a few days on the 4th floor at Good Samaritan Hospital. Every phone call that came in was him telling me it was all my fault.
I told him “my mother has had this SAME number for years.”
That number was old and people would call it as they pleased. Not to mention I had a daughter with another man before this new relationship with him.
I know what it’s like to stand on the other side of a gun fully loaded and ready to shoot. I know what it is like to have your life threatened on a regular basis. I’ve heard the “if I can’t have you NO one will.”
I had a friend who would pick me up from the corner store. If she didn’t answer I would leave a detailed message on her answering machine saying, we just got into it if anything happens to me he did it. Yep, several times I had to leave those messages and go back in fear of what would happen if he finally got the courage to act on his word.
Thinking about a blink of an eye and your life can be gone. God was the only reason the trigger wasn’t pulled. And I am thankful for that. My now 17 year old daughter would have had to witness the whole thing. I held her hand as we ran to some form of safety.
Like most of you I’ve thought about harming my abuser as a way of escape. I didn’t know how to shoot a gun, so I thought of burning the house down. That was after years of being tired of running to safety looking for a place to stay.
I also know what it’s like to play sleep hoping and praying he wouldn’t come in wanting sex. It would only end up with him rubbing his penis across my face forcing it into my mouth. Eventually I would be rolling around in the sheets against my will thinking of the guns in the closet. I had better comply no matter the time of night. The fresh scent of soap on his penis meant he just washed it. I didn’t hear any water, just the keys hitting the table.
Would you say he didn’t have the nerve to shoot me? Not at all. On the day my daughter and I went running to safety it changed my life forever. He did fire the gun as we ran down the street. I’m not sure where the bullets went. He fired it again later, shooting a female cop in the neck. She was paralyzed and died two years later, he was shot eight times and died ten years later.
Yes, I would say I am a blessing. That’s why NoMoreBlows is important to me. I was only 19 when my life was turned upside down. I felt hopeless an alone in a world where other women have walked in my shoes.
My passion is to help young ladies, so I don’t want another young lady to stay when she doesn’t have to stay. I don’t want another young lady looking down a gun praying the trigger isn’t pulled. I don’t want another young lady being used as a personal porn star. Rape is rape no matter how you look at it.
We as women have to have the nerve to not just call the police but press the charges when the case is made. I want to be the advocate who goes to court with the ladies who take a stand.
As someone who walked in your shoes I will stand. I’ve been scared to all 9-1-1 and prayed that a neighbor didn’t hear what was going on in the house. You know the thought that “if he goes to jail his family is going to blame you”. It’s rare to have the support of his family when it’s time to do what’s right.
Had I left my abuser in jail I don’t know how the story would have ended. I cleaned out the newly opened CDs at the bank and put my house up to get him out of jail. I want to be the advocate where women NO longer have to make that choice.
Today I’m asking all survivors around the world to take a stand with me and say NoMoreBlows to women of all religious beliefs, races, social classes and educational levels!
Are you willing? If so send submission. I will share them on my blog or I can share my testimony with you! The goal is NOT to compete but to swallow pride and realize we have the same mission.
I now know what this verse means;
We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose. (Romans 8:28 AMP)
Yes, even my hardship will work together for my good! Remember there is NOTHING too hard for God!
Please join me in taking the NoMoreBlows Challenge! If you’re advocate keep doing what you are doing. If you know someone who needs one, I have a list of resources on my blog.
Peace and Love to all!