This post is going to be a little different. Today I want to talk about showing love at all the wrong times. As I always say I can only share what I’ve been through.
I want to help some mothers find freedom and not fall prey to the “tax time loving.” If you’ve fallen prey before, you don’t have to make a habit out of it.
I’m not sure how many nights you toss and turn wondering how a bill might get paid. I have done that and I still have plenty of those nights.
I’m going to share a chapter if my life with you. . .
I was 24 years old raising and two children alone with the help of my mother. I was struggling up and down paying $400.00 a month in daycare. (I didn’t qualify for any government assistance).
February rolled around after months of struggling to raise the kids alone. My son’s father calls out of the blue. He said he wanted us to be together and suggested we work on things.
I was excited filled with joy. All the while he had a plan and a motive for this “relationship.” I thought, “yes, my son will finally get to have a relationship with his father and his other sister.” They knew each other, just not close as my daughter was with him.
We talked of starting a dump truck company together. We spent hours on the computer looking for equipment to buy.
He was even getting his son from a previous relationship on a regular, that was a must. I refuse to be with a man who is not active in his child’s life. That would make me just as trifling as he is.
All was going well and all the kids were doing their best to get along. We both had six year old daughters who clashed like the Titans. Please stay with me as I get to my point.
This was the longest time in years we’d been able to make a relationship work. I was trying to make it work for all of us.
What you don’t know is he got fired from his job because he didn’t want to pay me $600.00 a month in child support.
What I didn’t know was the IRS took a nice amount of his tax return to pay me. My letter was dated with the date he was notified and it was right around the time he wanted this “relationship” to work out. By this time I already made a loan to him to get his dump truck back up and running.
Here I am thinking I’m making things better for US when in reality I’m only making things better for HIM. His main goal was to make things better for himself and his daughter by using me to take all he felt was owed to him.
When I realized what was going on and asked him to start paying me my money back he beat me. His mother stood in the doorway and watched. My son was strapped in his car seat and his hands were coming faster and faster through my car window.
Once I was able to get my hands on the wheel and foot on the gas I pulled out of his driveway. Yep, that was the end of out 3 month relationship. It was over and that was the last time I allowed a man to put his hands on me.
I ended up with mild concussion and he continued working on a car like nothing was unusual.
Ladies, I share my life to show the deliverance from foolishness God is able to provide. No matter how full the hole is God is still able. The same way you can file bankruptcy on debt you can do the same on the sinful lifestyle.
Today realize you are more than a “tax time love”! You deserve someone all the seasons of your life. Today take a stand and say, NO! You deserve to be loved and happy with, or without some extra money. Take yourself and your kids on a little vacation. You will love it!!
Let’s learn to use wisdom and look for the motive in ALL things!