Hey, how are you? I’m fine it’s a little after 6 in the morning and I have to get this off my chest.
Often when you’re the victim of any form of abuse you feel like a prisoner. You feel like things will always be that way, and all people will treat you the same. I know I did and if they treated me good I felt something was wrong.
My first form of abuse started at the tender age of 6, for years I felt low, unworthy, battered and afraid. I slept with lights on until one year ago. So we NEVER had all lights out around my house.
I am NOT sure I can say one form if abuse does more or less damage to the person.
Let me tell you what sexual abuse did to me. I felt like sex was a weapon, I felt it should be AGGRESSIVE at all times. I had NO idea both people should get pleasure from it. Next I had NO idea what it was like to be a virgin. My hymen was taken from me never to return. I HATED to hear girls talk about their first time. It was envy inside of me. I eventually got over that when I met enough young ladies who were robbed like I was. It was more common than I thought.
The verbal abuse made me feel like a caterpillar. I felt ugly, unworthy and like I would never be accepted in society. When I was nine or ten I chipped my tooth outside playing basketball. Just follow the story you will get the picture. When I was younger the kids tormented me about this tooth. I hated to smile also hated to talk. I had friends who didn’t talk about it, well NOT to my face. As I got older I dated this guy who always told me he was the only guy who wanted me. Boy was he wrong.
However what he said always played in my head. Until I got the tooth fixed. I was grown, working and paid for it in my own! I think I went to stand in the mirror and smile for an hour.
Now let’s talk about the physical abuse. Bumps and bruises. I think the most severe was a concussion I suffered after being beat in the face and head. That wasn’t the first BUT I sure made it the last.
I made up in my mind I wasn’t going back he would NEVER hit on me again. Not as long as I could help it. I was in my 20’s and wanted a better for my life. I didn’t want my kids to feel it was ok or they didn’t have to respect me.
Those are all short bits and pieces to show you abuse was a lifestyle for me. I guess we can call it Lifestyles of The Battered And Broken. Stay on the journey with me and you will eventually read about Lifestyles of The Broken But Healed.
As this post comes to an end you might NOT be the person being abused. Never beat her down or make he feel less than. Never call her names and never abandon her. She will need a support system.
Well I want to leave hope for you if you are faced with abuse. Leaving is easier said than done BUT it can happen. You must make up in your mind you and your children deserve better than that. Surround yourself with people who LOVE you. Just remember if GOD did it for me He will do it for you! He wants more survivors telling their stories.
Let me leave a scripture with you;
Jeremiah 33:6 AMP
Behold, [in the future restored Jerusalem] I will lay upon it health and healing, and I will cure them and will reveal to them the abundance of peace (prosperity, security, stability) and truth.
Until next time Special K loves you if you don’t feel anyone else does! I used to be you BUT GOD 🙂
PS I am NOW butterfly watch me fly!!!
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